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How to bring sex into dating?

This is another one of those questions that come up often in our coaching. “How do I bring up sex on a first or second date?” or “How do I take the date to the bedroom either tonight or down the line?” or even “How do I talk about sex with someone and not scare them away?” And I get …

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Sex Education in American schools. Is it really to educate or is it actually to oppress?

“Nature and culture, instinct and morality, sexuality and achievement become incompatible as a result of the split in the human structure. The unity and congruity of culture and nature, work and love, morality and sexuality, longed for from time immemorial, will remain a dream as long as man continues to condemn the biological demand for natural (orgastic) sexual gratification.” – Wilhem …

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Getting the sex you want. From a woman’s perspective.

I stepped outside this morning (11am, really) onto the balcony; half aching from yesterday’s workout and fully not giving a shit how I looked. Coffee in one hand, phone in the other and covered only by my ridiculously nerdy wizard robe that my husband somehow convinced me to buy at Target. I stepped out and as soon as I did, …

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How your ANS may be running your sex life

  My love life looks like some sort congressional session; Constant debating and disagreeing. And if I do somehow achieve to get all the parts of my mind plus my body in agreement, some piece has to jump up and say, “Oh yeah, I also need to make this point!…” Incongruency. The story of my internal life. Some Basic Biology …

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The Things I Wish I Would Have Been Told About Sex

This morning I woke up but as it happens on some days, I was just too lazy to jump out of bed. So instead I rolled over and let thoughts drift through my head. It’s a great time for that. I just sit back in my own head and see what drifts by. And because everything is all lazy and …

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Digging Deep – Your Own Sexual History

In all the free lectures / discussion groups I run, I always ask for feedback. I want to know what people took home from the class and what they think could go better. I also want to know what topics they would like me to cover in the future. One thing keeps coming up without fail every time from someone: …

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Let’s Talk Condoms

Yes, I know, it’s a topic that has been discussed a lot. So I won’t bore you with the effectiveness stats and proper use and whatnot. What I want to look at today is the difference in material, thickness and size that you can find. This is a conversation that came up during one of the last open relationship discussions …

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Why Is There No Manual For You?

In an upcoming workshop on relationship communication I am going to talk about writing our own “user manual”. There are several reasons why I think this is a) an important exercise and b) an important communication tool. In this post I am just talking about the why and give you some tips on the how and in a post down …