I was born on the then communist side of Germany. After being indoctrinated into the system for 13 years, said system suddenly collapsed and left me stranded without a cultural paradigm and noone to turn to (my parents, family and teachers were trying to figure out their lives too). It seemed like a hard time but it has been a very beneficial one as it taught me skills and approaches that have been beneficial all my life.
I learned that there is no need for blind trust but that there is a need for trusting yourself. I learned to be critical, to ask the deeper questions, to explore spirituality and I started trying to figure out “the meaning of it all”.
Once I started on this path, it took me wherever it wanted. Always looking for more insight, trying to peek behind another curtain, it took me from selling vacuum cleaners door to door to financial advising to stints in the porn industry. And then I left Germany and started exploring the world living first across Western Europe and finally moving to the US in 2010.
During that time I started finding my passion for Coaching and Teaching. I went through some educational programs sponsored by my employer and became a Coach. While I felt I did what I was passionate about, I also could only coach within the limitations that the company put on me. After 8 years and a lot of back and forth, we decided to part ways.
Not trusting myself to take the coaching and build a business out of it, I decided that I should become a Massage Therapist. After attending the TLC Massage School in Texas for 13 months I had my license and started my practice in Texas only to decide 5 months later that a move to Oregon is the right next step.
And here I am now, living in and loving on Portland and the Pacific North West.
During my journey I have experienced a lot, hit every possible bump in the road and fell in a lot of emotional holes. I also experienced a lot of flow moments. I experienced surrender and falling on my feet when I don’t struggle. And I experienced that sometimes struggle is the only thing keeping me sane.
I believe that we all need to wake up and become more conscious when it comes to sex, relationships or intimacy. Too much of this is happening on auto pilot and we don’t pay enough to why we are doing it or how we are feeling in it.
I believe that both women and men need to step into their feminine and masculine powers. This is the only way we can balance the gender issues (on a personal level), find ourselves and then build genuine relationships based on desire instead of programming.
I believe that we all need to let go of the guilt and shame around sex, that we need to let go of the repression and that we need to take our own sexual power back from a society that tells us we are bad people for having sex and asking for what we want. Why is it so painful to have an open conversation about something so fun?
I believe the only way to true intimacy is through knowing ourselves and sharing who we are without holding back. And I know how amazing, utopian and, at the same time, scary that sounds. But to go deep with others requires us to know what lurks in our own depths, bringing it out into the light of day and offering others a slice of it.