How your ANS may be running your sex life


My love life looks like some sort congressional session; Constant debating and disagreeing. And if I do somehow achieve to get all the parts of my mind plus my body in agreement, some piece has to jump up and say, “Oh yeah, I also need to make this point!…”

Incongruency. The story of my internal life.

Some Basic Biology

What is going on here? Let’s cover some basic biology before we go further. Our nervous system is an amazing piece of our biological human machine. Our nerves stretch all throughout our body creating separate systems that facilitate specific functions of our bodies. For the purpose of this writing I want to focus on the two branches of the autonomic nervous system; the sympathetic and parasympathetic system and the pelvic splanchnic nerves that are a part of the parasympathetic system.

Our autonomic nervous system is responsible for our bodies involuntary responses in either heightened states (sympathetic “fight or flight” system) or relaxed states (parasympathetic “rest and relax” system).

The pelvic splanchnic nerves are a set of nerves that exist in the various parts of our pelvic region. Our labia, clitoris, perineum, vagina and anus. these nerves travel up through the spine and directly to the brain. Beautiful illustrations have been created by Frank Netter at

I want to reiterate that our pelvic splanchnic nerve system is a part of the parasympathetic nervous system. That system which is responsible for our bodies responses to states of rest. The other division of the autonomic nervous system is the sympathetic nervous system, again, necessary to prepare our bodies for heightened states of awareness and activity. When activated, that system that takes energy away from our parasympathetic system in order to prepare the body for the flight or fight.

Think about this, the stimulus receptors that exist in our sex organs are connected to the same system that allows the body to function in a state of rest. The energy our body dedicates to these nerves is pulled away when we go into a state of unrest… Vigilance. Basically the state when we are feeling unsafe and have to keep our own vigil. The external feelings could be something like, uncertainty, anxiety, unpredictability, and on and on.


Can We Have It?

This leads me to ask, what would sex look like if our minds were put into a place of total peace? With nothing to think about, nothing to worry over, having a trusted lover and a trusted space.



  1. Rob

    There is a great discussion, on this post, going on via the secret Facebook group. If you’d like to be added to that group please contact us and ask to be added.

  2. Pingback: Getting the sex you want. From a woman’s perspective. •

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